Today, while reading a new article on Psyche, I was drawn to its insights and decided to share a summary of what I found valuable. The article is by Nick Wignall, a clinical psychologist specializing in sleep disorders. He narrates the story of Ava, a successful yet perfectionistic lawyer who struggles with sleep and seeks his therapeutic advice. He shares his approach and recommendations with us.
According to extensive research, approximately 10-30% of people worldwide suffer from insomnia. However, if you are a perfectionist, you may be even more vulnerable to insomnia and sleep-related issues. A successful perfectionist with high intelligence, a strong work ethic, analytical thinking, and problem-solving skills often struggles with something as simple as sleeping. In fact, it seems that the greatest problem-solvers find it hardest to solve their own sleep issues.
Unlike sleep apnea or narcolepsy, insomnia is not a physical issue; rather, it primarily reflects a psychological condition. Nick describes this challenge as the “sleep-effort paradox,” meaning that the harder you try to sleep, the less successful you’ll be. This is because your body engages adrenaline secretion to activate the fight-or-flight response, but this worry about falling asleep is unnecessary—your body knows how to sleep without your intervention. I personally relate to this a lot; while I may go to bed physically tired, it’s as if my mind believes it’s 8 a.m. and is ready to perform complex mental tasks, even though I just want to sleep. The more I try to sleep, the longer it takes and the less likely I am to fall asleep.
However, Nick offers some intriguing strategies that I’ll outline here:
- Establish a Sleep Runway
We can’t fall asleep immediately, just as a large airplane must reduce speed and altitude well before landing. In this approach, it’s suggested that you avoid high-focus activities or intense mental work 60-90 minutes before bed. Avoid stressful tasks or goal-oriented activities during this period.
- Develop a Midnight Plan
This method encourages us to take control from our minds by giving it a preset plan. Many insomniacs suffer from waking up in the middle of the night, so here we design a plan to keep the mind from spiraling into worries. It’s best to engage in relaxing but passive activities, such as listening to calming music or an audiobook. Two important elements here are that the activity is passive and that it’s done consistently.
- Make Time to Worry on Purpose
Problem-solving personalities tend to suppress worries and anxieties during the day to focus on their responsibilities. However, this conscious control means that the brain may still try to present these concerns to you during your rest time. A simple exercise here is “scheduled worrying”: choose a set time to write down your worries without prioritizing them, then set them aside after 10 minutes. This strengthens boundaries with worries, reducing the likelihood of them intruding on your sleep.
- Try Sleep Compression
The idea that spending more time in bed will lead to more sleep is typically ineffective, as more time awake in bed can associate it with anxiety and frustration, reducing the chances of restful sleep. This approach gradually decreases the time spent in bed, allowing the body’s natural desire for sleep to build up, though it may make you feel more tired in the short term.
According to Nick, these strategies helped Ava sleep more peacefully, overcoming much of her insomnia. A key outcome was a boost in her confidence and a shift from sleep anxiety to trust in her body’s ability to rest. Ava learned that even though insomnia might strike occasionally, she could sleep well and rest peacefully.
I hope this summary of learnings and implementation of these recommended strategies will help you overcome this challenge if perfectionism has cast a shadow over your ability to sleep comfortably. If you’re interested, I suggest reading the full article here.
Share your thoughts with me, and if you’ve found any personal strategies that work, please share them with me